Tonight might be the first time I have actually felt a romance with God. My brother and I sat down together to eat late night clam chowder, and as things turned out we didn’t get up for another few hours. We talked about people we admire and things they said, and how a lot of this had to do with them being to-the-point people. They don’t waste time flirting with ribbony words or debate charade games. They want to know what is this really all about, and don’t leave room for the finite and trivial. We shared with each other how both of us have decided that the point for us is doing what God wants.
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What do you want to do when you grow up? is an unusual question because all we want, we said, is to follow God. It’s like if I were married and someone asked me where I wanted to live. With my wife. Such answers may frustrate people, but that answer is the only answer which, to me, addresses the point.
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We gossiped about God until our throats got dry, and about an hour and a half into it, I began to be excited. I was enjoying myself. We were sharing stories about Jesus and time stopped walking and had escaped into a radio flyer downhill with a homemade superman cape. It was like drinking wine at the funeral of a remarkable relative. One who we knew would have wanted it to be a party. One that we knew would end late, with good food and a warm breeze kicking through the rafters while we lit up oil lamps as the sun went down. Except that God was not dead.
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There was a time when stories of God would not interest me, and they certainly would not have billowed out of my own lips as if I were chatting about the new Jimmy Eat World album in high school. At one time, the Holy Spirit was about as interesting to me as Casper, but now I find myself here preferring to talk about what they’ve been doing together rather than girl issues or any other topic that is supposed to be “hot” or “normal.” There was a time when I’d be embarrassed to be amidst a quick prayer in a public restaurant, and that wasn’t so long ago, but here I’m posting this, to the internet. When we started treating God like a real person, it seemed like He started revealing his character like a real person. Maybe he’s been doing that all along and we just didn’t know how to listen. Tonight I found myself with a steadily warming chest, exhilarated.
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I’m not quite sure how this happened, but it would appear that I am in love.